- Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
- Chuck Norris can write to an output stream.
- Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
- Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
- Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.
- Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
- Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
- A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
- Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
- 182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.
- Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
- If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
- Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
- In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
- There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
- When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.
- A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
- Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.
- Chuck Norris's database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.
- 'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
- Chuck Norris can dereference NULL.
- Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.
- Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.